As promised, here is part two of the adventures of a newbie author, and it's all about--Street Teams.

What is a Street Team?:

• You may already have your team set-up and you don't even know it.
• Your team is comprised of your die-hard fans who like and share all of your social media           posts.
• They pass out info to people about you, and your books.
• They've read everything you have written, some of them may have been your beta readers, and they write awesome reviews!
• They attend your events passing out swag, wearing your gear (t-shirts, buttons, stickers),           and talking to future fans.
• They get lots of free stuff!  Books and other cool swag.
• They truly go above and beyond to help spread the word about you and your books.

How do I make my Street Team Legit?

• I'm so glad you asked!  That is what I am doing, right now!
• First: Come up with a catchy name! Mine is PSST! The Alex Conner Chornicles Crew
• The name should reflect your books or a certain series. Since I am going to write a wide             range of books, I made this one Alex Conner Specific under the larger umbrella of PSST             (Parker Sinclair Street Team).  My new book, The Eve of the Exceptionals will have the Eve's       Ryzing Stars.
• It's all in the name! These are the loyal fans who help you get to the top, don't the deserve a     sweet name?  Exactly!
• Once you have the name and you've spoken to some members, blog about the new Team         so you can get even more members.
• Share the blog with everyone and to everyone.

What to send your team:

• I am currently working on a lot of cool swag for me team: t-shirts, I've had buttons made,         and I plan on making stickers and     buttons to provide each member.
• I have lots of cards to pass out, and codes for discounted books.
• Before a major event that they will be attending with you,  stock them up on all of the swag       items.  Maybe you pre-make goody bags for them to hand out, or let them do their thing.
• Free books!  Whether its eBooks or paperback, your team gets them when they first come         out, sometimes even earlier!

So there it is, in a nutshell.  I love my Street Team! You know who you are, and if anyone would like to join The Alex Conner Chronicles Crew, please comment below or message me.

Parker

Author of Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One, Truth: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book Two, &Forbidden: An Alex Conner Chronicles Novella adult contemporary fantasy under the name Parker Sinclair.

My Webpage: http://www.parkersinclair.net
Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book
Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks
Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor
Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair
My Goodreads Profile
My Smashwords Profile
Blog: https://parkersinclairbooks.wordpress.com

Links/where to buy/ social media

Available now on Amazon, iBooks, Kindle, Nook, & Barnes & Noble

Alex is my magnet.  I've been drawn to her character before the 1900's were no more and the 2000's stepped in.  I didn't know what she was going to do, but what I did know is that I was going to write a book with a main character that would be powerful, damaged, skittish, funny, and sexy.  I remember waking from dreams that forced me to jot ideas down onto the closest scrap of paper my fingers could find.  The dam that I thought my life plan was beginning to chip away during that time, but the little cracks took fourteen years to burst open.

   Some might question how in the world I held onto a goal for so long without giving up.  One thing that I know for sure is that my thoughts of the book never left me.  Some pages were completed, secure on a disk that moved with me from California to two different cities in Virginia, up to New York, and then back to Virginia.  Those years, the time ticking by, were dominated by thoughts of a family and of my school counselor job. Those were powerful thoughts at the time in my life.  They were stronger than the book that buzzed in the background of my mind.  The persistent thoughts stayed with me though, lingering in the abyss, not ready—not yet. 

   Now that I look back, I was part of the reason the books didn’t come to life till now.  I didn’t see my finished products as good enough, something people would enjoy, or to be taken seriously.  And the books I loved, the books I consumed, seemed to overshadow the words I had written. My thoughts of the how amazing J.K Rowling is, Patrick Rothfuss’ intensity, Terry Brooks’ magic, not measuring up pushed my confidence into the background.  When I felt I wasn’t good enough—I wasn’t.  The doubt attracted nothing to me but more doubt and gave me the life I feared—one where I wasn’t a writer.  I feared a life where I never prove to be good enough. Now, as I read The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, I see exactly what I was doing and what part of me still sometimes does. 

   For most of my life I actually thought, and maybe this is the superstitious Irish parts of me, that if I thought something was going to be good, or that something was currently awesome, I was jinxing myself immensely.  I would actually stop my positive thoughts for fear of the opposite happening.  I shake my head now after learning about the Law of Attraction.  All that focus on my fears, on worry, doubt, thinking how much better other writers were than me, about how hard it will be to break into the book industry, all the negativity was giving me what I was worried about and not what I wanted.  George Lucas knew of this phenomenon as he wrote Anakin as his own personal antagonist and creator of his worst fears and nightmares.  Anakin’s dread brought about that which he feared the most.  George Lucas is a creative genius and it shows in his characters and his stories.  The universe is abundant with creative genius and I am allowing myself to envision joining as a writer.

   Just like Alex, I am a magnet. We are all magnets actually and our thoughts attract other like thoughts.   The Secret asks the reader to organize and direct their thoughts by figuring out what they want and then believe they are receiving it already.  This task pushed me to type what I really wanted in my life.  This was something I hadn’t done and in some cases, I had been afraid to totally commit to. When I hashed things out with myself what happened next brought a rush through my body and invoked powerful feelings like I was sealing the deal. She tells the reader to change the wording from “I want” to “I am so grateful and happy that I am/have.”  It was a powerful task and soon dreams and visualizations of my desired future came to me with ease. My goals didn’t seem like pipe dreams any longer, instead they were happening right now.  Of course, some of this may sound easy enough, but it took and continues to take work and devotion.  I do a great deal of visualizing each day, sometimes multiple times a day, about my future and the future of those I love.  Mindfulness practices have nearly been a daily occurrence, and trust me, I still have my meh days. Scathing thoughts drip into my awareness every now and again. The negative thoughts that tell me I'm not a great writer, my grammar needs work, there were issues in the book I should have caught, my book isn’t selling, I don’t have enough reviews, I’m not writing enough, blogging enough, or marketing enough.  The good news is, the happy and positive thoughts are stronger and can easily tip the scales!  Once you put out into the world, into the universe, what you want you see it and believe it to be true.   Then, it will all come to fruition. 

   What’s been incredible about my practice and teachings through The Secret is that I catch these negative thoughts quicker and find it easier to refocus.  It’s not that I don’t allow myself to be tired, angry, sad, tired, or scared.  On the contrary, I am a firm believer that all emotions have a purpose and we need them to see and experience great joys.  No, I don’t push them away, instead, I focus on the good, the things that make me happy, the love for my children, the jokes with friends and my husband, and the hobbies and exercise I enjoy.  My friend, who is reading Rhonda’s second book, The Power, showed me a section where Rhonda explains the refocusing of feelings as an addition of happiness and not the removal of negative feelings.  She relates being in a bad mood to a glass of water.  This glass contains a small about of water that is our happiness and the negative feelings are the air in the glass that cannot be removed.  Instead, we fill the glass with more water, aka happiness, and we feel better.  We then continue to see the good, to be happy, and to move towards a future that has been put into motion by our own belief that we are already receiving what we really want.  Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have now and not dwelling on what we don’t, or what is not going our way, what someone did to us, or what others have and we don’t.  It’s recognizing the amazing things in your life loving yourself, believing in yourself, lightening up, loving others, and removing stress. 

   As I read through the pages of The Secret with my friend, one who is also smacking the “duh” hand upside her own head, I have found clarity for my goals and dreams.  I see visions of my future and I feel confident in the fact that I will get there.  My stress has reduced, I show love and affection to my loved ones even more than I thought possible, and I am grateful for what I have now and for all that I am working towards in the future.

   So, yes I am a good writer, yes people enjoy my books, and more people will start to enjoy Alex and her band of misfits along with all of the other books and characters I breathe to life in my future novels. Once I believed all of this for myself, I realize that I will achieve my goals put into motion by positive feelings about myself, my vision for the future, hard work and dedication, and believing with unwavering faith that I am obtaining my goal right now. 

   Thank you for reading my blog, for supporting me, for caring about my words, and for being wonderful and amazing.

Parker

As I have gone through grief, and now watch, listen and feel others go through it as well, I have been thinking about how I would help them professionally. What is the best way to let a parent, friend, or loved one of someone who has lost someone close to them know about some of the therapeutic ways to find happiness. About the ways to live with the pain. Because there is no complete removal of the pain, in some cases that isn't even the desire. To fill no pain is to not feel at all, to not miss, to not mourn and then you are not keeping your loved one alive in your heart and mind enough. But what if that pain paralyzes you endlessly? What if you can't keep it within you? This sadness that is now a part of you, a shaper of who you are. But, you are drowning in your sorrow, forever missing and longing for someone who is no longer there, can no longer physically be there with you...for you. Is it your destiny to cease to be as well? Will you then be another loss to those who have already lost this person, you all love? And how long will you feel what you are feeling? It may be anger, denial, a disconnection with reality. No, there isn't a timeline for grief, even though I do believe in steps and phases, but there isn't a set amount of time for each of them. And, not everyone experiences all of them in my opinion. I was stuck in anger for most of the time since my mother has passed...denial was not an option. I was somewhat prepared for her passing, more so than I think a lot of people are given the nature of the medical professionals in my family. No, I don't necessarily think it should be that or even can be that way by any means, just my experiences, and the way things happened for me.

There are different reasons for grief and mourning...sometimes it isn't a person at all; it may be a pet, or a place you have loved and cherished. My grandfather lost his home in Katrina and all of the memories of my grandmother along with it- washed away into the Back Bay as his refrigerator floated in the ruined garage. All of the pictures, clothes, knick-knacks, jewelry, memories...gone, and there was grief and despair along with that loss. We all felt that for him and through him. The loss of memories and of a home that we all shared during holidays and visits. Pieces of my grandmother that were still able to keep her close washed away with the raging waters that racked the gulf that year. I had thought this would break us all, but my grandfather moved through his grief, wave and after wave wracked this quick as a whip pilot, doctor, and psychiatrist. Father of four, grandfather of three...militarily strict but funny as hell. Oh, how I miss him every day as well.

My thoughts on grief are more of my thoughts on a happy life. It all relates when you lose sight of your happiness. When you lose your course, your strand of the web you were on with such sure footing and then blown off. Then you have to try and find some happiness and rational for moving forward. To shed the anger, the jadedness, the loss of faith and find a way to continue in their spirit, in their memories, yet without them. I don't claim to heal intense levels of depression with these suggestions. In those cases, it is imperative to seek professional help, and if you know someone you think is depressed or suicidal, don't fear asking them right out about their safety. You won't inadvertently put that idea in their head, but by asking you may just save their life.

There are four things I believe can lead to happiness, spiritual growth and a path to healing.

Journaling: Finding the time and a way to get the racing thoughts out of your head on onto paper, a computer screen, a napkin, what have you is very therapeutic. It doesn't matter if those words ever see daylight again. Sometimes it can be cathartic to read it or even destroy what you have written, sending it back into the universe (safely for goodness sakes, no living room bonfires please!). Journaling is also a wonderful technique for anger when you put down what you wish you could say to someone and then safely destroy it, thus ridding yourself of what is eating away at you. Journaling can often help recall forgotten and beautiful memories about your loved one. It can allow you to be raw and unfiltered (make sure you keep it private if that is your wish), and can also lead to incredible levels of creativity and wonder.
Empathy: Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is incredibly medicinal. It allows us to step away from your worries and concerns for a while, which our souls need a break from, and feel compassion for someone else. Being empathetic can lead to helping a fellow person in need which is also very healing and helpful for everyone involved.
Mindfulness: This technique saved me from what I think was a complete paralysis in my anger. I had lost my creativity and the future of my writing, and I just knewIwas seconds away from panic attacks. Those seemed inevitable as work became increasingly demanding and stressful for not only me but everyone around me. I read about the technique in a book for mothers that focused on the need for me to be happy in order for my family unit to be happy as well. It isn't an obvious notion for most of us to think about taking care of ourselves first as the best way to take care of others. Some are whispering "selfishness" in dark corners right now. No, we think doing more and more, pushing and spreading ourselves thinner and thinner so that our loved ones lives are fuller and busier are the answers to their happiness but it isn't. Our children, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, lovers,friends and co-workers won't be truly happy if we are suffering. Our mental and physical health is of the utmost importance if we are actually to help others around us. Mindfulness allowed me to take a break from everything and focus on only myself. Sometimes I know it is hard to find the time, sometimes I forget I need it, but it is refreshing, mind opening and essential. A free link to the technique is below from UCLA as well as a link to the book I read to get me on that track.
Nature: Enjoying the outdoors, the environment around you, tree hugging, dog petting, walking, biking, exploring, traveling, it is all incredibly therapeutic. Taking the time to watch a sunset, to go for a walk in your neighborhood, to count flower petals and practicing colors with your children outdoors is my last but not least recommendation. Most of us may be cooped up inside working all day, not feeling the warmth of the sun or the chill of the rain. Whether you like to paddle board, walk, skate, or even taking a drive with the windows down along a back country road. Taking your time and exploring, it is all therapeutic, and I believe necessary. Our history stems from being one with nature to the give and take, ebb and flow, the web of life. We are all connected, the earth, soil, water, animals, plants, bees, and trees; it's important commune with it all once in a while.Sogopick strawberries, body surf in the ocean or hike along that beaten path. It is cleansing and enlightening.
Right now I am in the midst of watching those around me experiencing intense levels of sadness, and I thought this is something I know about. Grief is something I have been trained on, lived through and utilize myself. My main character in the Alex Conner Chronicles overcomes a series of various levels of grief and utilizes many of these suggestions herself. Alex may be damaged, perhaps even broken, but she sought to make her life better despite it all. And if what you are currently doing is not working it is time to make a change, time to try something new. Looking to heal and be happier didn't change the amazing parts of the person Alex is, and the same goes for me and hopefully for each of you.

If you would like to read more about Alex, please visit www.ParkerSinclair.net for a 3 chapter sample of her first book Trust and to join my mailing list. Be Well, Be Happy and Be You!

Parker

Mindfulness information and free guided practice: http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm

The book that led me to mindfulness: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1741140102

When one decides to write you may want to include quotes from you favorite books, lyrics from songs or pictures and artwork. What is quite necessary is to get permission to use such portions of work even if it is only one line or lyric. Towards the end of my book, an important character to my heroine is lost, and I found myself writing about not only her loss but the loss of my mother as well. Specifically about one of the last things I did while she was in hospice. I remember her singing "You are my Sunshine" by Jimmie Davis to me. As I held her hand lying on one side of her, and my older sister on the other, I sang a few lyrics of the song to her.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Four short lyrics, something I could have removed from the book and avoided tracking down the copyright holder, contacting the recording company, asking for the use, explaining why, purchasing the freedom to use it...all of that I could have avoided if only I took those lines out- and I did consider doing just that. In fact it was down to the wire, the book was in formatting and my formatter on hold for me to add or keep the lyrics out. One night my youngest daughter, who was born after my mother's passing didn't speak very clearly yet, sang those lines to me as clear and beautiful as day. Her smile so bright and her soul singing along with her. At that moment I knew my mom was a part of her, in her smile, her beautiful voice and her strength and stubbornness. I couldn't help the tears that came, and the decision solidified at that moment- words now forever within my passages and my words of love, loss and hope...My Mother's Song, My Daughter's Song and Alex's Song.

Parker Sinclair

www.ParkerSinclair.net

https://www.facebook.com/ParkerSinclairbooks?ref=bookmarks

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23697958-trust

As promised, here is part two of the adventures of a newbie author, and it's all about--Street Teams.

What is a Street Team?:

• You may already have your team set-up and you don't even know it.
• Your team is comprised of your die-hard fans who like and share all of your social media           posts.
• They pass out info to people about you, and your books.
• They've read everything you have written, some of them may have been your beta readers, and they write awesome reviews!
• They attend your events passing out swag, wearing your gear (t-shirts, buttons, stickers),           and talking to future fans.
• They get lots of free stuff!  Books and other cool swag.
• They truly go above and beyond to help spread the word about you and your books.

How do I make my Street Team Legit?

• I'm so glad you asked!  That is what I am doing, right now!
• First: Come up with a catchy name! Mine is PSST! The Alex Conner Chornicles Crew
• The name should reflect your books or a certain series. Since I am going to write a wide             range of books, I made this one Alex Conner Specific under the larger umbrella of PSST             (Parker Sinclair Street Team).  My new book, The Eve of the Exceptionals will have the Eve's       Ryzing Stars.
• It's all in the name! These are the loyal fans who help you get to the top, don't the deserve a     sweet name?  Exactly!
• Once you have the name and you've spoken to some members, blog about the new Team         so you can get even more members.
• Share the blog with everyone and to everyone.

What to send your team:

• I am currently working on a lot of cool swag for me team: t-shirts, I've had buttons made,         and I plan on making stickers and     buttons to provide each member.
• I have lots of cards to pass out, and codes for discounted books.
• Before a major event that they will be attending with you,  stock them up on all of the swag       items.  Maybe you pre-make goody bags for them to hand out, or let them do their thing.
• Free books!  Whether its eBooks or paperback, your team gets them when they first come         out, sometimes even earlier!

So there it is, in a nutshell.  I love my Street Team! You know who you are, and if anyone would like to join The Alex Conner Chronicles Crew, please comment below or message me.

Parker

Author of Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One, Truth: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book Two, &Forbidden: An Alex Conner Chronicles Novella adult contemporary fantasy under the name Parker Sinclair.

My Webpage: http://www.parkersinclair.net
Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book
Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks
Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor
Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair
My Goodreads Profile
My Smashwords Profile
Blog: https://parkersinclairbooks.wordpress.com

Links/where to buy/ social media

Available now on Amazon, iBooks, Kindle, Nook, & Barnes & Noble

Alex is my magnet.  I've been drawn to her character before the 1900's were no more and the 2000's stepped in.  I didn't know what she was going to do, but what I did know is that I was going to write a book with a main character that would be powerful, damaged, skittish, funny, and sexy.  I remember waking from dreams that forced me to jot ideas down onto the closest scrap of paper my fingers could find.  The dam that I thought my life plan was beginning to chip away during that time, but the little cracks took fourteen years to burst open.

   Some might question how in the world I held onto a goal for so long without giving up.  One thing that I know for sure is that my thoughts of the book never left me.  Some pages were completed, secure on a disk that moved with me from California to two different cities in Virginia, up to New York, and then back to Virginia.  Those years, the time ticking by, were dominated by thoughts of a family and of my school counselor job. Those were powerful thoughts at the time in my life.  They were stronger than the book that buzzed in the background of my mind.  The persistent thoughts stayed with me though, lingering in the abyss, not ready—not yet. 

   Now that I look back, I was part of the reason the books didn’t come to life till now.  I didn’t see my finished products as good enough, something people would enjoy, or to be taken seriously.  And the books I loved, the books I consumed, seemed to overshadow the words I had written. My thoughts of the how amazing J.K Rowling is, Patrick Rothfuss’ intensity, Terry Brooks’ magic, not measuring up pushed my confidence into the background.  When I felt I wasn’t good enough—I wasn’t.  The doubt attracted nothing to me but more doubt and gave me the life I feared—one where I wasn’t a writer.  I feared a life where I never prove to be good enough. Now, as I read The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, I see exactly what I was doing and what part of me still sometimes does. 

   For most of my life I actually thought, and maybe this is the superstitious Irish parts of me, that if I thought something was going to be good, or that something was currently awesome, I was jinxing myself immensely.  I would actually stop my positive thoughts for fear of the opposite happening.  I shake my head now after learning about the Law of Attraction.  All that focus on my fears, on worry, doubt, thinking how much better other writers were than me, about how hard it will be to break into the book industry, all the negativity was giving me what I was worried about and not what I wanted.  George Lucas knew of this phenomenon as he wrote Anakin as his own personal antagonist and creator of his worst fears and nightmares.  Anakin’s dread brought about that which he feared the most.  George Lucas is a creative genius and it shows in his characters and his stories.  The universe is abundant with creative genius and I am allowing myself to envision joining as a writer.

   Just like Alex, I am a magnet. We are all magnets actually and our thoughts attract other like thoughts.   The Secret asks the reader to organize and direct their thoughts by figuring out what they want and then believe they are receiving it already.  This task pushed me to type what I really wanted in my life.  This was something I hadn’t done and in some cases, I had been afraid to totally commit to. When I hashed things out with myself what happened next brought a rush through my body and invoked powerful feelings like I was sealing the deal. She tells the reader to change the wording from “I want” to “I am so grateful and happy that I am/have.”  It was a powerful task and soon dreams and visualizations of my desired future came to me with ease. My goals didn’t seem like pipe dreams any longer, instead they were happening right now.  Of course, some of this may sound easy enough, but it took and continues to take work and devotion.  I do a great deal of visualizing each day, sometimes multiple times a day, about my future and the future of those I love.  Mindfulness practices have nearly been a daily occurrence, and trust me, I still have my meh days. Scathing thoughts drip into my awareness every now and again. The negative thoughts that tell me I'm not a great writer, my grammar needs work, there were issues in the book I should have caught, my book isn’t selling, I don’t have enough reviews, I’m not writing enough, blogging enough, or marketing enough.  The good news is, the happy and positive thoughts are stronger and can easily tip the scales!  Once you put out into the world, into the universe, what you want you see it and believe it to be true.   Then, it will all come to fruition. 

   What’s been incredible about my practice and teachings through The Secret is that I catch these negative thoughts quicker and find it easier to refocus.  It’s not that I don’t allow myself to be tired, angry, sad, tired, or scared.  On the contrary, I am a firm believer that all emotions have a purpose and we need them to see and experience great joys.  No, I don’t push them away, instead, I focus on the good, the things that make me happy, the love for my children, the jokes with friends and my husband, and the hobbies and exercise I enjoy.  My friend, who is reading Rhonda’s second book, The Power, showed me a section where Rhonda explains the refocusing of feelings as an addition of happiness and not the removal of negative feelings.  She relates being in a bad mood to a glass of water.  This glass contains a small about of water that is our happiness and the negative feelings are the air in the glass that cannot be removed.  Instead, we fill the glass with more water, aka happiness, and we feel better.  We then continue to see the good, to be happy, and to move towards a future that has been put into motion by our own belief that we are already receiving what we really want.  Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have now and not dwelling on what we don’t, or what is not going our way, what someone did to us, or what others have and we don’t.  It’s recognizing the amazing things in your life loving yourself, believing in yourself, lightening up, loving others, and removing stress. 

   As I read through the pages of The Secret with my friend, one who is also smacking the “duh” hand upside her own head, I have found clarity for my goals and dreams.  I see visions of my future and I feel confident in the fact that I will get there.  My stress has reduced, I show love and affection to my loved ones even more than I thought possible, and I am grateful for what I have now and for all that I am working towards in the future.

   So, yes I am a good writer, yes people enjoy my books, and more people will start to enjoy Alex and her band of misfits along with all of the other books and characters I breathe to life in my future novels. Once I believed all of this for myself, I realize that I will achieve my goals put into motion by positive feelings about myself, my vision for the future, hard work and dedication, and believing with unwavering faith that I am obtaining my goal right now. 

   Thank you for reading my blog, for supporting me, for caring about my words, and for being wonderful and amazing.

Parker

As I have gone through grief, and now watch, listen and feel others go through it as well, I have been thinking about how I would help them professionally. What is the best way to let a parent, friend, or loved one of someone who has lost someone close to them know about some of the therapeutic ways to find happiness. About the ways to live with the pain. Because there is no complete removal of the pain, in some cases that isn't even the desire. To fill no pain is to not feel at all, to not miss, to not mourn and then you are not keeping your loved one alive in your heart and mind enough. But what if that pain paralyzes you endlessly? What if you can't keep it within you? This sadness that is now a part of you, a shaper of who you are. But, you are drowning in your sorrow, forever missing and longing for someone who is no longer there, can no longer physically be there with you...for you. Is it your destiny to cease to be as well? Will you then be another loss to those who have already lost this person, you all love? And how long will you feel what you are feeling? It may be anger, denial, a disconnection with reality. No, there isn't a timeline for grief, even though I do believe in steps and phases, but there isn't a set amount of time for each of them. And, not everyone experiences all of them in my opinion. I was stuck in anger for most of the time since my mother has passed...denial was not an option. I was somewhat prepared for her passing, more so than I think a lot of people are given the nature of the medical professionals in my family. No, I don't necessarily think it should be that or even can be that way by any means, just my experiences, and the way things happened for me.

There are different reasons for grief and mourning...sometimes it isn't a person at all; it may be a pet, or a place you have loved and cherished. My grandfather lost his home in Katrina and all of the memories of my grandmother along with it- washed away into the Back Bay as his refrigerator floated in the ruined garage. All of the pictures, clothes, knick-knacks, jewelry, memories...gone, and there was grief and despair along with that loss. We all felt that for him and through him. The loss of memories and of a home that we all shared during holidays and visits. Pieces of my grandmother that were still able to keep her close washed away with the raging waters that racked the gulf that year. I had thought this would break us all, but my grandfather moved through his grief, wave and after wave wracked this quick as a whip pilot, doctor, and psychiatrist. Father of four, grandfather of three...militarily strict but funny as hell. Oh, how I miss him every day as well.

My thoughts on grief are more of my thoughts on a happy life. It all relates when you lose sight of your happiness. When you lose your course, your strand of the web you were on with such sure footing and then blown off. Then you have to try and find some happiness and rational for moving forward. To shed the anger, the jadedness, the loss of faith and find a way to continue in their spirit, in their memories, yet without them. I don't claim to heal intense levels of depression with these suggestions. In those cases, it is imperative to seek professional help, and if you know someone you think is depressed or suicidal, don't fear asking them right out about their safety. You won't inadvertently put that idea in their head, but by asking you may just save their life.

There are four things I believe can lead to happiness, spiritual growth and a path to healing.

Journaling: Finding the time and a way to get the racing thoughts out of your head on onto paper, a computer screen, a napkin, what have you is very therapeutic. It doesn't matter if those words ever see daylight again. Sometimes it can be cathartic to read it or even destroy what you have written, sending it back into the universe (safely for goodness sakes, no living room bonfires please!). Journaling is also a wonderful technique for anger when you put down what you wish you could say to someone and then safely destroy it, thus ridding yourself of what is eating away at you. Journaling can often help recall forgotten and beautiful memories about your loved one. It can allow you to be raw and unfiltered (make sure you keep it private if that is your wish), and can also lead to incredible levels of creativity and wonder.
Empathy: Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is incredibly medicinal. It allows us to step away from your worries and concerns for a while, which our souls need a break from, and feel compassion for someone else. Being empathetic can lead to helping a fellow person in need which is also very healing and helpful for everyone involved.
Mindfulness: This technique saved me from what I think was a complete paralysis in my anger. I had lost my creativity and the future of my writing, and I just knewIwas seconds away from panic attacks. Those seemed inevitable as work became increasingly demanding and stressful for not only me but everyone around me. I read about the technique in a book for mothers that focused on the need for me to be happy in order for my family unit to be happy as well. It isn't an obvious notion for most of us to think about taking care of ourselves first as the best way to take care of others. Some are whispering "selfishness" in dark corners right now. No, we think doing more and more, pushing and spreading ourselves thinner and thinner so that our loved ones lives are fuller and busier are the answers to their happiness but it isn't. Our children, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, lovers,friends and co-workers won't be truly happy if we are suffering. Our mental and physical health is of the utmost importance if we are actually to help others around us. Mindfulness allowed me to take a break from everything and focus on only myself. Sometimes I know it is hard to find the time, sometimes I forget I need it, but it is refreshing, mind opening and essential. A free link to the technique is below from UCLA as well as a link to the book I read to get me on that track.
Nature: Enjoying the outdoors, the environment around you, tree hugging, dog petting, walking, biking, exploring, traveling, it is all incredibly therapeutic. Taking the time to watch a sunset, to go for a walk in your neighborhood, to count flower petals and practicing colors with your children outdoors is my last but not least recommendation. Most of us may be cooped up inside working all day, not feeling the warmth of the sun or the chill of the rain. Whether you like to paddle board, walk, skate, or even taking a drive with the windows down along a back country road. Taking your time and exploring, it is all therapeutic, and I believe necessary. Our history stems from being one with nature to the give and take, ebb and flow, the web of life. We are all connected, the earth, soil, water, animals, plants, bees, and trees; it's important commune with it all once in a while.Sogopick strawberries, body surf in the ocean or hike along that beaten path. It is cleansing and enlightening.
Right now I am in the midst of watching those around me experiencing intense levels of sadness, and I thought this is something I know about. Grief is something I have been trained on, lived through and utilize myself. My main character in the Alex Conner Chronicles overcomes a series of various levels of grief and utilizes many of these suggestions herself. Alex may be damaged, perhaps even broken, but she sought to make her life better despite it all. And if what you are currently doing is not working it is time to make a change, time to try something new. Looking to heal and be happier didn't change the amazing parts of the person Alex is, and the same goes for me and hopefully for each of you.

If you would like to read more about Alex, please visit www.ParkerSinclair.net for a 3 chapter sample of her first book Trust and to join my mailing list. Be Well, Be Happy and Be You!

Parker

Mindfulness information and free guided practice: http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm

The book that led me to mindfulness: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1741140102

When one decides to write you may want to include quotes from you favorite books, lyrics from songs or pictures and artwork. What is quite necessary is to get permission to use such portions of work even if it is only one line or lyric. Towards the end of my book, an important character to my heroine is lost, and I found myself writing about not only her loss but the loss of my mother as well. Specifically about one of the last things I did while she was in hospice. I remember her singing "You are my Sunshine" by Jimmie Davis to me. As I held her hand lying on one side of her, and my older sister on the other, I sang a few lyrics of the song to her.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Four short lyrics, something I could have removed from the book and avoided tracking down the copyright holder, contacting the recording company, asking for the use, explaining why, purchasing the freedom to use it...all of that I could have avoided if only I took those lines out- and I did consider doing just that. In fact it was down to the wire, the book was in formatting and my formatter on hold for me to add or keep the lyrics out. One night my youngest daughter, who was born after my mother's passing didn't speak very clearly yet, sang those lines to me as clear and beautiful as day. Her smile so bright and her soul singing along with her. At that moment I knew my mom was a part of her, in her smile, her beautiful voice and her strength and stubbornness. I couldn't help the tears that came, and the decision solidified at that moment- words now forever within my passages and my words of love, loss and hope...My Mother's Song, My Daughter's Song and Alex's Song.

Parker Sinclair

www.ParkerSinclair.net

https://www.facebook.com/ParkerSinclairbooks?ref=bookmarks

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23697958-trust

As promised, here is part two of the adventures of a newbie author, and it's all about--Street Teams.

What is a Street Team?:

• You may already have your team set-up and you don't even know it.
• Your team is comprised of your die-hard fans who like and share all of your social media           posts.
• They pass out info to people about you, and your books.
• They've read everything you have written, some of them may have been your beta readers, and they write awesome reviews!
• They attend your events passing out swag, wearing your gear (t-shirts, buttons, stickers),           and talking to future fans.
• They get lots of free stuff!  Books and other cool swag.
• They truly go above and beyond to help spread the word about you and your books.

How do I make my Street Team Legit?

• I'm so glad you asked!  That is what I am doing, right now!
• First: Come up with a catchy name! Mine is PSST! The Alex Conner Chornicles Crew
• The name should reflect your books or a certain series. Since I am going to write a wide             range of books, I made this one Alex Conner Specific under the larger umbrella of PSST             (Parker Sinclair Street Team).  My new book, The Eve of the Exceptionals will have the Eve's       Ryzing Stars.
• It's all in the name! These are the loyal fans who help you get to the top, don't the deserve a     sweet name?  Exactly!
• Once you have the name and you've spoken to some members, blog about the new Team         so you can get even more members.
• Share the blog with everyone and to everyone.

What to send your team:

• I am currently working on a lot of cool swag for me team: t-shirts, I've had buttons made,         and I plan on making stickers and     buttons to provide each member.
• I have lots of cards to pass out, and codes for discounted books.
• Before a major event that they will be attending with you,  stock them up on all of the swag       items.  Maybe you pre-make goody bags for them to hand out, or let them do their thing.
• Free books!  Whether its eBooks or paperback, your team gets them when they first come         out, sometimes even earlier!

So there it is, in a nutshell.  I love my Street Team! You know who you are, and if anyone would like to join The Alex Conner Chronicles Crew, please comment below or message me.

Parker

Author of Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One, Truth: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book Two, &Forbidden: An Alex Conner Chronicles Novella adult contemporary fantasy under the name Parker Sinclair.

My Webpage: http://www.parkersinclair.net
Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book
Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks
Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor
Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair
My Goodreads Profile
My Smashwords Profile
Blog: https://parkersinclairbooks.wordpress.com

Links/where to buy/ social media

Available now on Amazon, iBooks, Kindle, Nook, & Barnes & Noble

Alex is my magnet.  I've been drawn to her character before the 1900's were no more and the 2000's stepped in.  I didn't know what she was going to do, but what I did know is that I was going to write a book with a main character that would be powerful, damaged, skittish, funny, and sexy.  I remember waking from dreams that forced me to jot ideas down onto the closest scrap of paper my fingers could find.  The dam that I thought my life plan was beginning to chip away during that time, but the little cracks took fourteen years to burst open.

   Some might question how in the world I held onto a goal for so long without giving up.  One thing that I know for sure is that my thoughts of the book never left me.  Some pages were completed, secure on a disk that moved with me from California to two different cities in Virginia, up to New York, and then back to Virginia.  Those years, the time ticking by, were dominated by thoughts of a family and of my school counselor job. Those were powerful thoughts at the time in my life.  They were stronger than the book that buzzed in the background of my mind.  The persistent thoughts stayed with me though, lingering in the abyss, not ready—not yet. 

   Now that I look back, I was part of the reason the books didn’t come to life till now.  I didn’t see my finished products as good enough, something people would enjoy, or to be taken seriously.  And the books I loved, the books I consumed, seemed to overshadow the words I had written. My thoughts of the how amazing J.K Rowling is, Patrick Rothfuss’ intensity, Terry Brooks’ magic, not measuring up pushed my confidence into the background.  When I felt I wasn’t good enough—I wasn’t.  The doubt attracted nothing to me but more doubt and gave me the life I feared—one where I wasn’t a writer.  I feared a life where I never prove to be good enough. Now, as I read The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, I see exactly what I was doing and what part of me still sometimes does. 

   For most of my life I actually thought, and maybe this is the superstitious Irish parts of me, that if I thought something was going to be good, or that something was currently awesome, I was jinxing myself immensely.  I would actually stop my positive thoughts for fear of the opposite happening.  I shake my head now after learning about the Law of Attraction.  All that focus on my fears, on worry, doubt, thinking how much better other writers were than me, about how hard it will be to break into the book industry, all the negativity was giving me what I was worried about and not what I wanted.  George Lucas knew of this phenomenon as he wrote Anakin as his own personal antagonist and creator of his worst fears and nightmares.  Anakin’s dread brought about that which he feared the most.  George Lucas is a creative genius and it shows in his characters and his stories.  The universe is abundant with creative genius and I am allowing myself to envision joining as a writer.

   Just like Alex, I am a magnet. We are all magnets actually and our thoughts attract other like thoughts.   The Secret asks the reader to organize and direct their thoughts by figuring out what they want and then believe they are receiving it already.  This task pushed me to type what I really wanted in my life.  This was something I hadn’t done and in some cases, I had been afraid to totally commit to. When I hashed things out with myself what happened next brought a rush through my body and invoked powerful feelings like I was sealing the deal. She tells the reader to change the wording from “I want” to “I am so grateful and happy that I am/have.”  It was a powerful task and soon dreams and visualizations of my desired future came to me with ease. My goals didn’t seem like pipe dreams any longer, instead they were happening right now.  Of course, some of this may sound easy enough, but it took and continues to take work and devotion.  I do a great deal of visualizing each day, sometimes multiple times a day, about my future and the future of those I love.  Mindfulness practices have nearly been a daily occurrence, and trust me, I still have my meh days. Scathing thoughts drip into my awareness every now and again. The negative thoughts that tell me I'm not a great writer, my grammar needs work, there were issues in the book I should have caught, my book isn’t selling, I don’t have enough reviews, I’m not writing enough, blogging enough, or marketing enough.  The good news is, the happy and positive thoughts are stronger and can easily tip the scales!  Once you put out into the world, into the universe, what you want you see it and believe it to be true.   Then, it will all come to fruition. 

   What’s been incredible about my practice and teachings through The Secret is that I catch these negative thoughts quicker and find it easier to refocus.  It’s not that I don’t allow myself to be tired, angry, sad, tired, or scared.  On the contrary, I am a firm believer that all emotions have a purpose and we need them to see and experience great joys.  No, I don’t push them away, instead, I focus on the good, the things that make me happy, the love for my children, the jokes with friends and my husband, and the hobbies and exercise I enjoy.  My friend, who is reading Rhonda’s second book, The Power, showed me a section where Rhonda explains the refocusing of feelings as an addition of happiness and not the removal of negative feelings.  She relates being in a bad mood to a glass of water.  This glass contains a small about of water that is our happiness and the negative feelings are the air in the glass that cannot be removed.  Instead, we fill the glass with more water, aka happiness, and we feel better.  We then continue to see the good, to be happy, and to move towards a future that has been put into motion by our own belief that we are already receiving what we really want.  Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have now and not dwelling on what we don’t, or what is not going our way, what someone did to us, or what others have and we don’t.  It’s recognizing the amazing things in your life loving yourself, believing in yourself, lightening up, loving others, and removing stress. 

   As I read through the pages of The Secret with my friend, one who is also smacking the “duh” hand upside her own head, I have found clarity for my goals and dreams.  I see visions of my future and I feel confident in the fact that I will get there.  My stress has reduced, I show love and affection to my loved ones even more than I thought possible, and I am grateful for what I have now and for all that I am working towards in the future.

   So, yes I am a good writer, yes people enjoy my books, and more people will start to enjoy Alex and her band of misfits along with all of the other books and characters I breathe to life in my future novels. Once I believed all of this for myself, I realize that I will achieve my goals put into motion by positive feelings about myself, my vision for the future, hard work and dedication, and believing with unwavering faith that I am obtaining my goal right now. 

   Thank you for reading my blog, for supporting me, for caring about my words, and for being wonderful and amazing.

Parker

As I have gone through grief, and now watch, listen and feel others go through it as well, I have been thinking about how I would help them professionally. What is the best way to let a parent, friend, or loved one of someone who has lost someone close to them know about some of the therapeutic ways to find happiness. About the ways to live with the pain. Because there is no complete removal of the pain, in some cases that isn't even the desire. To fill no pain is to not feel at all, to not miss, to not mourn and then you are not keeping your loved one alive in your heart and mind enough. But what if that pain paralyzes you endlessly? What if you can't keep it within you? This sadness that is now a part of you, a shaper of who you are. But, you are drowning in your sorrow, forever missing and longing for someone who is no longer there, can no longer physically be there with you...for you. Is it your destiny to cease to be as well? Will you then be another loss to those who have already lost this person, you all love? And how long will you feel what you are feeling? It may be anger, denial, a disconnection with reality. No, there isn't a timeline for grief, even though I do believe in steps and phases, but there isn't a set amount of time for each of them. And, not everyone experiences all of them in my opinion. I was stuck in anger for most of the time since my mother has passed...denial was not an option. I was somewhat prepared for her passing, more so than I think a lot of people are given the nature of the medical professionals in my family. No, I don't necessarily think it should be that or even can be that way by any means, just my experiences, and the way things happened for me.

There are different reasons for grief and mourning...sometimes it isn't a person at all; it may be a pet, or a place you have loved and cherished. My grandfather lost his home in Katrina and all of the memories of my grandmother along with it- washed away into the Back Bay as his refrigerator floated in the ruined garage. All of the pictures, clothes, knick-knacks, jewelry, memories...gone, and there was grief and despair along with that loss. We all felt that for him and through him. The loss of memories and of a home that we all shared during holidays and visits. Pieces of my grandmother that were still able to keep her close washed away with the raging waters that racked the gulf that year. I had thought this would break us all, but my grandfather moved through his grief, wave and after wave wracked this quick as a whip pilot, doctor, and psychiatrist. Father of four, grandfather of three...militarily strict but funny as hell. Oh, how I miss him every day as well.

My thoughts on grief are more of my thoughts on a happy life. It all relates when you lose sight of your happiness. When you lose your course, your strand of the web you were on with such sure footing and then blown off. Then you have to try and find some happiness and rational for moving forward. To shed the anger, the jadedness, the loss of faith and find a way to continue in their spirit, in their memories, yet without them. I don't claim to heal intense levels of depression with these suggestions. In those cases, it is imperative to seek professional help, and if you know someone you think is depressed or suicidal, don't fear asking them right out about their safety. You won't inadvertently put that idea in their head, but by asking you may just save their life.

There are four things I believe can lead to happiness, spiritual growth and a path to healing.

Journaling: Finding the time and a way to get the racing thoughts out of your head on onto paper, a computer screen, a napkin, what have you is very therapeutic. It doesn't matter if those words ever see daylight again. Sometimes it can be cathartic to read it or even destroy what you have written, sending it back into the universe (safely for goodness sakes, no living room bonfires please!). Journaling is also a wonderful technique for anger when you put down what you wish you could say to someone and then safely destroy it, thus ridding yourself of what is eating away at you. Journaling can often help recall forgotten and beautiful memories about your loved one. It can allow you to be raw and unfiltered (make sure you keep it private if that is your wish), and can also lead to incredible levels of creativity and wonder.
Empathy: Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is incredibly medicinal. It allows us to step away from your worries and concerns for a while, which our souls need a break from, and feel compassion for someone else. Being empathetic can lead to helping a fellow person in need which is also very healing and helpful for everyone involved.
Mindfulness: This technique saved me from what I think was a complete paralysis in my anger. I had lost my creativity and the future of my writing, and I just knewIwas seconds away from panic attacks. Those seemed inevitable as work became increasingly demanding and stressful for not only me but everyone around me. I read about the technique in a book for mothers that focused on the need for me to be happy in order for my family unit to be happy as well. It isn't an obvious notion for most of us to think about taking care of ourselves first as the best way to take care of others. Some are whispering "selfishness" in dark corners right now. No, we think doing more and more, pushing and spreading ourselves thinner and thinner so that our loved ones lives are fuller and busier are the answers to their happiness but it isn't. Our children, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, lovers,friends and co-workers won't be truly happy if we are suffering. Our mental and physical health is of the utmost importance if we are actually to help others around us. Mindfulness allowed me to take a break from everything and focus on only myself. Sometimes I know it is hard to find the time, sometimes I forget I need it, but it is refreshing, mind opening and essential. A free link to the technique is below from UCLA as well as a link to the book I read to get me on that track.
Nature: Enjoying the outdoors, the environment around you, tree hugging, dog petting, walking, biking, exploring, traveling, it is all incredibly therapeutic. Taking the time to watch a sunset, to go for a walk in your neighborhood, to count flower petals and practicing colors with your children outdoors is my last but not least recommendation. Most of us may be cooped up inside working all day, not feeling the warmth of the sun or the chill of the rain. Whether you like to paddle board, walk, skate, or even taking a drive with the windows down along a back country road. Taking your time and exploring, it is all therapeutic, and I believe necessary. Our history stems from being one with nature to the give and take, ebb and flow, the web of life. We are all connected, the earth, soil, water, animals, plants, bees, and trees; it's important commune with it all once in a while.Sogopick strawberries, body surf in the ocean or hike along that beaten path. It is cleansing and enlightening.
Right now I am in the midst of watching those around me experiencing intense levels of sadness, and I thought this is something I know about. Grief is something I have been trained on, lived through and utilize myself. My main character in the Alex Conner Chronicles overcomes a series of various levels of grief and utilizes many of these suggestions herself. Alex may be damaged, perhaps even broken, but she sought to make her life better despite it all. And if what you are currently doing is not working it is time to make a change, time to try something new. Looking to heal and be happier didn't change the amazing parts of the person Alex is, and the same goes for me and hopefully for each of you.

If you would like to read more about Alex, please visit www.ParkerSinclair.net for a 3 chapter sample of her first book Trust and to join my mailing list. Be Well, Be Happy and Be You!

Parker

Mindfulness information and free guided practice: http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm

The book that led me to mindfulness: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1741140102

When one decides to write you may want to include quotes from you favorite books, lyrics from songs or pictures and artwork. What is quite necessary is to get permission to use such portions of work even if it is only one line or lyric. Towards the end of my book, an important character to my heroine is lost, and I found myself writing about not only her loss but the loss of my mother as well. Specifically about one of the last things I did while she was in hospice. I remember her singing "You are my Sunshine" by Jimmie Davis to me. As I held her hand lying on one side of her, and my older sister on the other, I sang a few lyrics of the song to her.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Four short lyrics, something I could have removed from the book and avoided tracking down the copyright holder, contacting the recording company, asking for the use, explaining why, purchasing the freedom to use it...all of that I could have avoided if only I took those lines out- and I did consider doing just that. In fact it was down to the wire, the book was in formatting and my formatter on hold for me to add or keep the lyrics out. One night my youngest daughter, who was born after my mother's passing didn't speak very clearly yet, sang those lines to me as clear and beautiful as day. Her smile so bright and her soul singing along with her. At that moment I knew my mom was a part of her, in her smile, her beautiful voice and her strength and stubbornness. I couldn't help the tears that came, and the decision solidified at that moment- words now forever within my passages and my words of love, loss and hope...My Mother's Song, My Daughter's Song and Alex's Song.

Parker Sinclair

www.ParkerSinclair.net

https://www.facebook.com/ParkerSinclairbooks?ref=bookmarks

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23697958-trust

As promised, here is part two of the adventures of a newbie author, and it's all about--Street Teams.

What is a Street Team?:

• You may already have your team set-up and you don't even know it.
• Your team is comprised of your die-hard fans who like and share all of your social media           posts.
• They pass out info to people about you, and your books.
• They've read everything you have written, some of them may have been your beta readers, and they write awesome reviews!
• They attend your events passing out swag, wearing your gear (t-shirts, buttons, stickers),           and talking to future fans.
• They get lots of free stuff!  Books and other cool swag.
• They truly go above and beyond to help spread the word about you and your books.

How do I make my Street Team Legit?

• I'm so glad you asked!  That is what I am doing, right now!
• First: Come up with a catchy name! Mine is PSST! The Alex Conner Chornicles Crew
• The name should reflect your books or a certain series. Since I am going to write a wide             range of books, I made this one Alex Conner Specific under the larger umbrella of PSST             (Parker Sinclair Street Team).  My new book, The Eve of the Exceptionals will have the Eve's       Ryzing Stars.
• It's all in the name! These are the loyal fans who help you get to the top, don't the deserve a     sweet name?  Exactly!
• Once you have the name and you've spoken to some members, blog about the new Team         so you can get even more members.
• Share the blog with everyone and to everyone.

What to send your team:

• I am currently working on a lot of cool swag for me team: t-shirts, I've had buttons made,         and I plan on making stickers and     buttons to provide each member.
• I have lots of cards to pass out, and codes for discounted books.
• Before a major event that they will be attending with you,  stock them up on all of the swag       items.  Maybe you pre-make goody bags for them to hand out, or let them do their thing.
• Free books!  Whether its eBooks or paperback, your team gets them when they first come         out, sometimes even earlier!

So there it is, in a nutshell.  I love my Street Team! You know who you are, and if anyone would like to join The Alex Conner Chronicles Crew, please comment below or message me.

Parker

Author of Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One, Truth: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book Two, &Forbidden: An Alex Conner Chronicles Novella adult contemporary fantasy under the name Parker Sinclair.

My Webpage: http://www.parkersinclair.net
Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book
Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks
Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor
Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair
My Goodreads Profile
My Smashwords Profile
Blog: https://parkersinclairbooks.wordpress.com

Links/where to buy/ social media

Available now on Amazon, iBooks, Kindle, Nook, & Barnes & Noble

Alex is my magnet.  I've been drawn to her character before the 1900's were no more and the 2000's stepped in.  I didn't know what she was going to do, but what I did know is that I was going to write a book with a main character that would be powerful, damaged, skittish, funny, and sexy.  I remember waking from dreams that forced me to jot ideas down onto the closest scrap of paper my fingers could find.  The dam that I thought my life plan was beginning to chip away during that time, but the little cracks took fourteen years to burst open.

   Some might question how in the world I held onto a goal for so long without giving up.  One thing that I know for sure is that my thoughts of the book never left me.  Some pages were completed, secure on a disk that moved with me from California to two different cities in Virginia, up to New York, and then back to Virginia.  Those years, the time ticking by, were dominated by thoughts of a family and of my school counselor job. Those were powerful thoughts at the time in my life.  They were stronger than the book that buzzed in the background of my mind.  The persistent thoughts stayed with me though, lingering in the abyss, not ready—not yet. 

   Now that I look back, I was part of the reason the books didn’t come to life till now.  I didn’t see my finished products as good enough, something people would enjoy, or to be taken seriously.  And the books I loved, the books I consumed, seemed to overshadow the words I had written. My thoughts of the how amazing J.K Rowling is, Patrick Rothfuss’ intensity, Terry Brooks’ magic, not measuring up pushed my confidence into the background.  When I felt I wasn’t good enough—I wasn’t.  The doubt attracted nothing to me but more doubt and gave me the life I feared—one where I wasn’t a writer.  I feared a life where I never prove to be good enough. Now, as I read The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, I see exactly what I was doing and what part of me still sometimes does. 

   For most of my life I actually thought, and maybe this is the superstitious Irish parts of me, that if I thought something was going to be good, or that something was currently awesome, I was jinxing myself immensely.  I would actually stop my positive thoughts for fear of the opposite happening.  I shake my head now after learning about the Law of Attraction.  All that focus on my fears, on worry, doubt, thinking how much better other writers were than me, about how hard it will be to break into the book industry, all the negativity was giving me what I was worried about and not what I wanted.  George Lucas knew of this phenomenon as he wrote Anakin as his own personal antagonist and creator of his worst fears and nightmares.  Anakin’s dread brought about that which he feared the most.  George Lucas is a creative genius and it shows in his characters and his stories.  The universe is abundant with creative genius and I am allowing myself to envision joining as a writer.

   Just like Alex, I am a magnet. We are all magnets actually and our thoughts attract other like thoughts.   The Secret asks the reader to organize and direct their thoughts by figuring out what they want and then believe they are receiving it already.  This task pushed me to type what I really wanted in my life.  This was something I hadn’t done and in some cases, I had been afraid to totally commit to. When I hashed things out with myself what happened next brought a rush through my body and invoked powerful feelings like I was sealing the deal. She tells the reader to change the wording from “I want” to “I am so grateful and happy that I am/have.”  It was a powerful task and soon dreams and visualizations of my desired future came to me with ease. My goals didn’t seem like pipe dreams any longer, instead they were happening right now.  Of course, some of this may sound easy enough, but it took and continues to take work and devotion.  I do a great deal of visualizing each day, sometimes multiple times a day, about my future and the future of those I love.  Mindfulness practices have nearly been a daily occurrence, and trust me, I still have my meh days. Scathing thoughts drip into my awareness every now and again. The negative thoughts that tell me I'm not a great writer, my grammar needs work, there were issues in the book I should have caught, my book isn’t selling, I don’t have enough reviews, I’m not writing enough, blogging enough, or marketing enough.  The good news is, the happy and positive thoughts are stronger and can easily tip the scales!  Once you put out into the world, into the universe, what you want you see it and believe it to be true.   Then, it will all come to fruition. 

   What’s been incredible about my practice and teachings through The Secret is that I catch these negative thoughts quicker and find it easier to refocus.  It’s not that I don’t allow myself to be tired, angry, sad, tired, or scared.  On the contrary, I am a firm believer that all emotions have a purpose and we need them to see and experience great joys.  No, I don’t push them away, instead, I focus on the good, the things that make me happy, the love for my children, the jokes with friends and my husband, and the hobbies and exercise I enjoy.  My friend, who is reading Rhonda’s second book, The Power, showed me a section where Rhonda explains the refocusing of feelings as an addition of happiness and not the removal of negative feelings.  She relates being in a bad mood to a glass of water.  This glass contains a small about of water that is our happiness and the negative feelings are the air in the glass that cannot be removed.  Instead, we fill the glass with more water, aka happiness, and we feel better.  We then continue to see the good, to be happy, and to move towards a future that has been put into motion by our own belief that we are already receiving what we really want.  Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have now and not dwelling on what we don’t, or what is not going our way, what someone did to us, or what others have and we don’t.  It’s recognizing the amazing things in your life loving yourself, believing in yourself, lightening up, loving others, and removing stress. 

   As I read through the pages of The Secret with my friend, one who is also smacking the “duh” hand upside her own head, I have found clarity for my goals and dreams.  I see visions of my future and I feel confident in the fact that I will get there.  My stress has reduced, I show love and affection to my loved ones even more than I thought possible, and I am grateful for what I have now and for all that I am working towards in the future.

   So, yes I am a good writer, yes people enjoy my books, and more people will start to enjoy Alex and her band of misfits along with all of the other books and characters I breathe to life in my future novels. Once I believed all of this for myself, I realize that I will achieve my goals put into motion by positive feelings about myself, my vision for the future, hard work and dedication, and believing with unwavering faith that I am obtaining my goal right now. 

   Thank you for reading my blog, for supporting me, for caring about my words, and for being wonderful and amazing.

Parker

As I have gone through grief, and now watch, listen and feel others go through it as well, I have been thinking about how I would help them professionally. What is the best way to let a parent, friend, or loved one of someone who has lost someone close to them know about some of the therapeutic ways to find happiness. About the ways to live with the pain. Because there is no complete removal of the pain, in some cases that isn't even the desire. To fill no pain is to not feel at all, to not miss, to not mourn and then you are not keeping your loved one alive in your heart and mind enough. But what if that pain paralyzes you endlessly? What if you can't keep it within you? This sadness that is now a part of you, a shaper of who you are. But, you are drowning in your sorrow, forever missing and longing for someone who is no longer there, can no longer physically be there with you...for you. Is it your destiny to cease to be as well? Will you then be another loss to those who have already lost this person, you all love? And how long will you feel what you are feeling? It may be anger, denial, a disconnection with reality. No, there isn't a timeline for grief, even though I do believe in steps and phases, but there isn't a set amount of time for each of them. And, not everyone experiences all of them in my opinion. I was stuck in anger for most of the time since my mother has passed...denial was not an option. I was somewhat prepared for her passing, more so than I think a lot of people are given the nature of the medical professionals in my family. No, I don't necessarily think it should be that or even can be that way by any means, just my experiences, and the way things happened for me.

There are different reasons for grief and mourning...sometimes it isn't a person at all; it may be a pet, or a place you have loved and cherished. My grandfather lost his home in Katrina and all of the memories of my grandmother along with it- washed away into the Back Bay as his refrigerator floated in the ruined garage. All of the pictures, clothes, knick-knacks, jewelry, memories...gone, and there was grief and despair along with that loss. We all felt that for him and through him. The loss of memories and of a home that we all shared during holidays and visits. Pieces of my grandmother that were still able to keep her close washed away with the raging waters that racked the gulf that year. I had thought this would break us all, but my grandfather moved through his grief, wave and after wave wracked this quick as a whip pilot, doctor, and psychiatrist. Father of four, grandfather of three...militarily strict but funny as hell. Oh, how I miss him every day as well.

My thoughts on grief are more of my thoughts on a happy life. It all relates when you lose sight of your happiness. When you lose your course, your strand of the web you were on with such sure footing and then blown off. Then you have to try and find some happiness and rational for moving forward. To shed the anger, the jadedness, the loss of faith and find a way to continue in their spirit, in their memories, yet without them. I don't claim to heal intense levels of depression with these suggestions. In those cases, it is imperative to seek professional help, and if you know someone you think is depressed or suicidal, don't fear asking them right out about their safety. You won't inadvertently put that idea in their head, but by asking you may just save their life.

There are four things I believe can lead to happiness, spiritual growth and a path to healing.

Journaling: Finding the time and a way to get the racing thoughts out of your head on onto paper, a computer screen, a napkin, what have you is very therapeutic. It doesn't matter if those words ever see daylight again. Sometimes it can be cathartic to read it or even destroy what you have written, sending it back into the universe (safely for goodness sakes, no living room bonfires please!). Journaling is also a wonderful technique for anger when you put down what you wish you could say to someone and then safely destroy it, thus ridding yourself of what is eating away at you. Journaling can often help recall forgotten and beautiful memories about your loved one. It can allow you to be raw and unfiltered (make sure you keep it private if that is your wish), and can also lead to incredible levels of creativity and wonder.
Empathy: Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is incredibly medicinal. It allows us to step away from your worries and concerns for a while, which our souls need a break from, and feel compassion for someone else. Being empathetic can lead to helping a fellow person in need which is also very healing and helpful for everyone involved.
Mindfulness: This technique saved me from what I think was a complete paralysis in my anger. I had lost my creativity and the future of my writing, and I just knewIwas seconds away from panic attacks. Those seemed inevitable as work became increasingly demanding and stressful for not only me but everyone around me. I read about the technique in a book for mothers that focused on the need for me to be happy in order for my family unit to be happy as well. It isn't an obvious notion for most of us to think about taking care of ourselves first as the best way to take care of others. Some are whispering "selfishness" in dark corners right now. No, we think doing more and more, pushing and spreading ourselves thinner and thinner so that our loved ones lives are fuller and busier are the answers to their happiness but it isn't. Our children, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, lovers,friends and co-workers won't be truly happy if we are suffering. Our mental and physical health is of the utmost importance if we are actually to help others around us. Mindfulness allowed me to take a break from everything and focus on only myself. Sometimes I know it is hard to find the time, sometimes I forget I need it, but it is refreshing, mind opening and essential. A free link to the technique is below from UCLA as well as a link to the book I read to get me on that track.
Nature: Enjoying the outdoors, the environment around you, tree hugging, dog petting, walking, biking, exploring, traveling, it is all incredibly therapeutic. Taking the time to watch a sunset, to go for a walk in your neighborhood, to count flower petals and practicing colors with your children outdoors is my last but not least recommendation. Most of us may be cooped up inside working all day, not feeling the warmth of the sun or the chill of the rain. Whether you like to paddle board, walk, skate, or even taking a drive with the windows down along a back country road. Taking your time and exploring, it is all therapeutic, and I believe necessary. Our history stems from being one with nature to the give and take, ebb and flow, the web of life. We are all connected, the earth, soil, water, animals, plants, bees, and trees; it's important commune with it all once in a while.Sogopick strawberries, body surf in the ocean or hike along that beaten path. It is cleansing and enlightening.
Right now I am in the midst of watching those around me experiencing intense levels of sadness, and I thought this is something I know about. Grief is something I have been trained on, lived through and utilize myself. My main character in the Alex Conner Chronicles overcomes a series of various levels of grief and utilizes many of these suggestions herself. Alex may be damaged, perhaps even broken, but she sought to make her life better despite it all. And if what you are currently doing is not working it is time to make a change, time to try something new. Looking to heal and be happier didn't change the amazing parts of the person Alex is, and the same goes for me and hopefully for each of you.

If you would like to read more about Alex, please visit www.ParkerSinclair.net for a 3 chapter sample of her first book Trust and to join my mailing list. Be Well, Be Happy and Be You!

Parker

Mindfulness information and free guided practice: http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm

The book that led me to mindfulness: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1741140102

When one decides to write you may want to include quotes from you favorite books, lyrics from songs or pictures and artwork. What is quite necessary is to get permission to use such portions of work even if it is only one line or lyric. Towards the end of my book, an important character to my heroine is lost, and I found myself writing about not only her loss but the loss of my mother as well. Specifically about one of the last things I did while she was in hospice. I remember her singing "You are my Sunshine" by Jimmie Davis to me. As I held her hand lying on one side of her, and my older sister on the other, I sang a few lyrics of the song to her.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Four short lyrics, something I could have removed from the book and avoided tracking down the copyright holder, contacting the recording company, asking for the use, explaining why, purchasing the freedom to use it...all of that I could have avoided if only I took those lines out- and I did consider doing just that. In fact it was down to the wire, the book was in formatting and my formatter on hold for me to add or keep the lyrics out. One night my youngest daughter, who was born after my mother's passing didn't speak very clearly yet, sang those lines to me as clear and beautiful as day. Her smile so bright and her soul singing along with her. At that moment I knew my mom was a part of her, in her smile, her beautiful voice and her strength and stubbornness. I couldn't help the tears that came, and the decision solidified at that moment- words now forever within my passages and my words of love, loss and hope...My Mother's Song, My Daughter's Song and Alex's Song.

Parker Sinclair

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